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Ep.7: Unlocking resilience: Heart-сentered approach to mental toughness with Ben Newman


Join us in a thought-provoking conversation with Ben Newman, a highly regarded mental toughness coach whose life experiences have fueled his commitment to mental resilience and success. Ben’s journey is marked by personal trials, such as his mother’s battle with a rare muscle disease, which made him realize the power of mental toughness at a young age. His story is an illustration of how life’s most challenging moments can shape us, teaching us invaluable lessons and helping us develop a stronger, more resilient mindset. 

Ben’s profound understanding of the human mind and heart has been instrumental in his approach to coaching. Stressing the importance of knowing what lies in a person’s heart, he talks about the significance of delaying opportunities for the sake of building genuine relationships. He also shares his insights on nurturing trust with athletes, enabling them to reach their highest potential. His book, “The Standard,” has been highly influential, guiding many on how to take ownership of their goals. Through dedication and commitment to mental toughness, Ben Newman has unlocked the secret to success, a secret he passionately shares with audiences around the world. Don’t miss out on this inspiring conversation packed with motivation and guidance for everyone.

*The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

On the importance of mental toughness in the coaching world

First off, I believe that our greatest character is built through the toughest of times. Our real strength is built through challenge and adversity. And because I had to experience adversity so fast, so early on in life, and then I was blessed to have those mentors and coaches to pick me up off the mat of life when I didn’t want to do it, when I didn’t feel like I had any strength, now I have the blessing of guiding, sharing, helping to understand, helping somebody to uncover, maybe, the strength they didn’t realize they’ve had to get them up off the mat of life. It’s the greatest gift I could ever have been given, and to be able to do this for a career… For me, it’s the passion in the fire that just comes out of me every day.

The one thing he uncovered that has the biggest impact on his coaching career

Just say yes and know that the money will be a byproduct of you saying yes and doing things for the right reasons. Find those opportunities where you can build your muscle and figure out how to connect before you chase down that big opportunity that you want because, quite frankly, you might not be ready for it. 

Don’t delay opportunities just because of the money

Don’t make it about the money. People say, well, I’m not going to go speak to that high school. Look at my resume, look what I’ve done. I should be getting paid X to give a talk, and if you find that that’s the camp that you’re living in every day, as somebody owes you a speaking fee, you may never get the speaking fee that you actually deserve to get one day or you’re capable of receiving. And so, I just had this passion not to make it about the money. And even to this day, the speaking fees I get now are 50 times what I used to get paid to speak. I can’t even believe that this is what I get paid to speak, In some cases, 100 times what I used to get paid to speak, and I’m like, I can’t believe this. But I never worried about it, and I don’t worry about it now. And so, I think if you’re worried about the money, I don’t know if you’re ever going to be able to find your true passion for doing this the right way, in my opinion.

I think the most important thing, and we’ve heard this so many times in so many different ways, is you have to understand what’s in somebody’s heart, and if you find that you think it’s the same conversation with every single person, you’re never going to connect on the deepest level to help each individual. 

And so I’ve always done the very best that I could, and I’m still trying to find even deeper ways and more detailed questions that I can ask by having conversations with individuals like you that have been going at this longer than me, and to find out what’s the deep question I can ask, to figure out what’s exactly in Todd’s heart, not his why, not his purpose, but what I actually call your burn. 

And your burn is that underlying fire that actually ignites why and purpose that then causes you to be disciplined on the days you don’t want to do it, and especially after you win. So it’s somebody who they told you your whole life you were too small to compete, or your mother made sacrifice for you with three jobs, and you’re not going to waste that sacrifice, and when you think of her sacrifice, you turn up to a whole new level. Well, I have to coach and have deep conversations with that individual based upon that experience of the sacrifice their mother made, not a canned speech that I give to every single audience that I speak to, and if you’re willing to understand that everybody’s different and to spend the time to build real relationships. I think that’s the difference in this kind of work that distances you from others who just want to go give a speech. 

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